Old Friends

I have always wondered why small children are so delighted with dinosaurs. Its seems instinctive, like a race memory. They seem to want to work and co-operate with them. Books and games like Dinotopia are popular. I have come up with only one idea why so far.
As we all know, human beings and dinosaurs did not walk the earth at the same time. Dinosaurs were around long before homosapiens. However, our probably quite crafty ancestors were around in the age of the dinosaur. When the dinosaurs were in their heyday, our ancestors were small furry rodent like creatures, yet to evolve into lemurs, monkeys and apes. I suspect we might have stayed close to large predatory dinos for protection. Smaller creatures would hunt us, and the big dinos would hunt our predators. We would have been too small for the large dinosaurs to bother eating. We may have even deliberately lead the small predators to the large dinosaurs to get rid of them and to work in a symbiotic relationship.
Or maybe it isn't some old instinct, it's just that kids like big monsters that roar.

Rebellious Brain Stem

The emotions that are in the hard-wiring of the brain causes one to think of what survival instincts are active in a fit of rebellion and how that evolve to effect the brain structure.

When you have a "hissy fit" of rebellion it is your hypothalamus and amygdala that are most active. Logically, rebellion is a way of getting to resources (essential to survival, in your primal hard-wiring) that are threatened if co-operation isn't going to satisfy your resource needs. Lets walk through the necessary stages for rebellion to occur instinctively, with and without gaining the loot.

Firstly, through your senses (very animal part of the brain), you must perceive a lack or restricted resources, usually that someone has sway over, but not necessarily. If you are cold, hungry, unsheltered, under fire, or in some way not getting your basic needs met (including sex), and being compliant is unlikely to change that, a set of defiance-for-survival primal triggers in your hypothalamus. You are more likely to "tell someone where to get off" if you are cold, wet, lost and hungry (needs not being met) then if you are warm, dry safe and eating. This includes getting enough social stroking. If a teenager with cold parents gets grounded on a socially important weekend, they are very likely to sneak out for social strokes and sex as a survival instinct.

So basically modern humans take on a "fair" and co-operative based interaction to get needs met, but if basic resources is perceived to be ungainable through the softer (and less energetic) method, at a certain point rebellion kicks in in the fight or flight department, (social, actually resource based"Its unfair"etc) as an alternative way to get needs met.

So the hypothalamus sends a signal to the amydala that homeostasis is inadequate because of the current situation. If we get a hit from the adrenal glands as well (the boss yells at you), it will kick in the defiance-for-survival instinct in rebellion. The irritability when hungry is similar to the feeling of rebellion on a low level. It is the amygdala that causes us to be disgusted with (eg. status quo), and become angry enough to rebel. People are more likely to mob for food then fiber optics. Not only does the amygdala provide us the uncomfortable "red alerts" of disgust and anger as a motivating force, but it controls the fight or flight responses as well. So it works with its close neighbour the hypothalamus to set off the whole fight or slight of hand (passive aggressive) instinct range.

If you look where then hypothalamus, pituarity gland and amygdala are placed in the physical brain, one sees them gather at the top of the brain stem, under the bulk of the brain. It seems to me as a group they are bit of a gate between more conscious thought and brain stem instincts. Where they are is like the frontal lobes if the brain stem were a whole brain. To the brain bulk, the hypothalamus and amygdala are in the more primal hard wired instinct part of the brain. If there was no brain stem, the hypothalamus is at the most instinctive area, and the amygdala is part of the limbic brain, more evolved then the brain stem but still very hard-wired. The limbic system and the stuff at the top of the brain-stem are comparatively like the brain stem. If the brain was a hologram, the limbic/hypothalamus system is the small to the bulk brains big, and big to the brain stem's small.

The hypothalamus is triggered by smell quite profoundly and it could be mentioned here that we smell more then we consciously acknowledge. When we smell a lack in resources it effects us. If we smell others have been eating better then us, or what stage a person is at sexually (resource orientated), it affects our instinctive mood. We may not be conscious of it, it is like the smell of fear, strongly affecting the primal driving force.

Drug addiction is an interesting double link with the rebellious instinct. The hypothalamus is tricked into thinking the drug is an essential to homeostasis, causing the lack of said intoxicant to trigger the rebellious instinct like a positive feedback loop.

Compulsive kleptomania is very much a resource instinct (therefore primal) gone awry. Can't get what you need? Justify it to yourself that "they" are being unfair and then even righteously steal it. The need is met and guilt can washed away with gain and righteousness of fighting the unfairness.

Creative Thinking vs Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is a catch cry and common philosophy throughout society. We often tell ourselves and others to think positively, especially when the chips are down. However, if you have ever tried to edit your thoughts or speech to only think positive thoughts you may have first got tired, then irritated, and then had a hopefully minor explosion of negativity. This is because ignoring the unpleasant doesn't make it go away, even if you try to put a positive spin on it. It will bubble up like a revolution of the downtrodden. In fact, trying to Pollyanna in a volatile situation can actually be dangerous to the person or others (like trying to pat a rabid dog).
Also positive thinking vs negative thinking is very dualistic in it's philosophy (this is good/this is bad), and is judgement based. It is a very black and white (as opposing extremes) in it's scope. You can only be wrong or right. The scope is very limited. Here is an alternative that allows the full spectrum.
The idea is Creative Thinking. If you have a problem to solve, you work beyond the scope of positive and negative, and try to start to look at the full spectrum of options available to come up with a solution. It is the domain of brainstorming. Think of the elements to the objective that are necessary or fixed, and then bring other elements in and out of your thinking until you come up with a solution that makes you feel like it could be beneficial or constructive. You, if you want, are looking for something that works. Or you have the options of leaving it as it is, abstracting because you can, or giving it to someone else etc. The full gamut of possibility is there. It is absolutely necessary in creative thinking to think outside the box, even if the end conclusion is conservative.
If you have difficulty thinking beyond the normal viewpoint (whatever that is for you and yours), look into the ideas behind the Dada art movement. Alternatively, flip a coin while deciding what to do about a current problem, or what to plan to do in the next year. It isn't necessary to do what the coin decides, but it helps to think about it from an angle you may not have looked at from before. Also, imagining you are another person in the situation helps with thinking outside the box in a relevant way.
It is fine also to think in the black and white, positive and negative way as well. But I find it restrictive in the dualism, and two dimensional. I personally prefer the full spectrum of Creative Thinking. It accepts the rainbow of existence, including it's darknesses. And accepting all the elements is a better way to more thoroughly solving the problem.

How to Seduce Your Woman

Here is a simple idea for seducing your female love interest. If you give her a romance novel, which you have read and understood, and is as close to your own scenario with said love interest, set up the same sexual tensions or settings as the book. When she is three quarters through the book and totally absorbed by it, make your move. She is probably hot and bothered with defences down. She will have a one track mind at that stage.
If you wish to seduce a male, give them an appropriate (straight or gay) magazine and leave them alone for a 10 or so minutes. At the point where they want a private moment to masturbate with the visual stimuli, make your move.
It isn't that hard to do, humanity doesn't need many excuses to have sex most of the time. Giving them stimulation in books and magazines saves a lot of time, effort and money.
We all know that people's frontal lobes usually shut off when they are sexually aroused, so they become temporarily stupefied. So if you do it, make sure you prevent disastrous forms of stupidity.

Waking Up Sleepy

If you live with someone who takes their time waking up, needing frequent prods and reminders, such as a child, parent, or teenager, it can be time consuming with nagging and resentment a bad way to start the day. This is an easy solution that is quite funny. It isn't pleasant for the reciprocant, but it works.
The night before, or, if you forget, in the morning for half an hour or so, freeze some marbles. Then, after you have woken them up and they have snuggled down again, pour the frozen marbles into their bed. Wherever they roll, ice cold marbles will follow, making going back to sleep impossible. Hilarious!

Good Grief

Grief is associated with loss of a loved one through death. Bereavement is the result of this. However, grief can come from a loss such as a meaningful job, loss of autonomy, a divorce, or the removal of children from their parents, or a pet dying. This is a normal, healthy reaction to an occurrence that will affect the surviving person's personal world. In fact, to show no pain or healing is actually frighteningly similar to the emotional profile of a psychopath.
There are approximately seven stages to grief. These can come in any order for varying lengths of time depending on the circumstances surrounding the loss, and the person(s) that is affected by the loss (their state prior to the loss, other concerns in their life, the nature of their relationship to the lost). Sometimes only some of the stages manifest. The seven stages are:
1. Shock or disbelief. This is the numbness and "world collapsing" (sometimes actual collapsing), dissociating reaction to the realisation of the event. The person may want to get proof, or another opinion, or check. They may run off or hide, like they have just been attacked by a physical threat. It is best they are sitting down, and receive the news compassionately and clearly. However, life is not always that kind, and don't expect a thank-you note.
2. Denial. For instance, acting as though the person is still alive, that today is the same as yesterday, not hearing references to the loss, making a cup of tea for someone who no longer requires it, introducing someone else as the deceased, leaving something of theirs in the same way as though they are going to come back through the door, are all varying signs of denial. If someone slips and call you by the absentee's name, it is forgivable. If the person hasn't registered the loss has occurred for a year, it is a worry. However, if their shrine to the deceased has gone mouldy over the years, it may be time to suggest professional help.
3. Bargaining. If they are religious the may try to cut a deal with whatever spiritual entity they see fit, swearing they will never do something again so it won't happen again, wondering why it was whatever was lost instead of them, wishing it was them instead of whatever was lost, making bargains with other people affected to do this or that as a memorial or preventative or coping measure.
4. Guilt. If the relationship with the lost was strained it can be worse. If they are young enough to think they are responsible for the loss it can be worse as well. Or if the survivor caused the loss or the person has committed suicide. It can be like survivor's guilt. "I get ice cream at the beach, but they can't". What if I did this or I did that. Why couldn't I have been nicer to them or stopped them from going somehow, or stopped them from drink driving (e.g.), and why couldn't I have died instead of them? Guilt is a regressive thing for when children are developing their social skills by taking cues from the adults, and therefore think a horrible feeling is either their fault or a punishment. Try to keep perspective during this period, and cut some slack. Even if it was some one's fault, they probably don't feel good either, and if it isn't any one's fault (usually), it won't make the pain any better.
5. Anger. This could be wanting to punish anyone seen (rightly or wrongly) as the cause of the loss (doctors, the other driver, fate, God, aunt Fefe's home brew) or anger at yourself, or the deceased. It can come in delayed, "inappropriate" outbursts when the person is feeling safe enough to let it out, but it is a good sign. It means the grief is starting to become more outwards flowing as opposed to inwards, as the other stages are. It can be self-destructive, but if the survivor(s) know it is coming they can channel it into a beneficial form (work into effecting change so they can prevent a recurrence like an appropriate cause, learning self defence, taking it out on a punching bag, go camping and screaming into the hills).
6. Depression. This is crying, feeling lost, empty, lowered mood, isolated, less enjoyment of things that brought the person joy (especially if it is something they did with the lost), and "moping".
7. Acceptance. This is when the survivor realises life has changed for them, but it can continue on. There is not a rewind button, but some things from the past are still there in the present, and somethings are not, and it cannot be changed, simply accepted.

Physical symptoms of grief can sleep and appetite problems, hyper vigilance, changed activity levels and even heart attack.
Social symptoms can include isolation (not wanting to see anyone), and difficulty functioning at home, work or school.

In both children and adults, emotional regression can occur, so less adult ways of processing the situation or behaving, or coping will come to the fore.

Prolonged (or complicated) grief include intense and pointless longing the lost, severe intrusive thoughts of the loss, extreme feelings of emptiness and isolation (basically pining), avoiding activities that bring back memories of the moment of loss or of the lost, sleeping problems, loss of interest in formerly enjoyed activities.

If the loss was a person who committed suicide, the survivors may be preoccupied with the reason(s) behind the suicide, denying or hiding the cause of death, "what if's" (I'd done, said, been this or that), feel blamed for problems proceeding the death, feel rejected by the deceased, feel stigmatized.

If the relationship with the lost was difficult or otherwise unhappy, the grief process still applies, and is compounded by the survivor's guilt (the unresolved fight they had two years ago where they stopped talking) and also how they see themselves (I'm happy such and such is dead, that's pretty dark).

With younger people, their stage of development effects how they cope.

In infants, they cry more and are more irritable.

3-5 yrs old don't realise the permanence of death, and can believe they "magically" caused they death, and can "magically" bring them back. They may have difficulty separating from caregivers.

6-8 yrs old Understand the permanence of death, and feel guilty. They may talk incessantly about the occurrence in an effort to understand and integrate the event. It is very important to tell the younger children, or those who have regressed into a younger state, that they are not responsible and although it doesn't feel nice, they are not being punished.

9-11 yrs old often the event decreases their self esteem. They see themselves as different from their peers, and may engross themselves in other activities like school work, extra curriculum activities (like computer games, or bug collecting) or social scene (other outsiders).

12-14 yrs old As they are starting to establish independence, they will have mixed feelings in a wide range of emotions. They may avoid talking about it.

14-19 yrs old Similar to adults. Sadness, anxiety, anger. Might not want to talk to their parents, but they will definitely talk to their peers.

Grief is not always about the loss of a person or even a good thing. The relationship may have been unhealthy, the job unpleasant, the object undesirable. If something unpleasant that has been there a long time is lost (such as an oppressive, occupying army), the initial joy is complicated by the empty feeling of lack of purpose (resisting or placating the tyrants), and a void called "possibility". Also the years of programming of that particular scenario suddenly made defunct is like when someone let's go of the rope in a tug of war. Although the liberation is good, the occupation and it's losses needs to be grieved.

It is important to keep in contact and openly communicate with others that have survived such as other family or friends or workmates, or others in a similar situation (such as an appropriate support group, victims of crime, divorcee, bereavement, or re-employment groups) or a professional grief counsellor. If you go it alone it is much harder to integrate, understand and have reference points for the process back into some kind of less painful life.
Apparently if the healing process unfolds unchecked and encouraged, it can be a real point of growth for the survivor(s). It is painful and overwhelming, but the process of integrating the experience and dealing with it's effects can really help one have a deeper understanding of life and it's rich tapestry.

Brain structure in relation to sex

There are fundamental differences between the male and female brain which has been timelessly observed through all cultures. Science (neurology) has made breakthroughs in discovering exactly what those differences are.

The brain is divided into two halves, the left and right hemisphere. The left is the logic orientated side (generally), with very little emotional range or lateral creativity. The right side is the emotional and creative side (generally). The left can think with words, numbers, symbols. The right can think with feelings, visions, colours.

Men and woman have basic differences between the connections between those two sides of the brain. Most men and woman fit into the description, to varying degrees, but not always.

In the masculine brain there is very little connection (and therefore communication) between the two sides of the brain. They are either thinking rationally and logically with little emotion, or they are thinking emotionally with very little logic, with the left side of their brain. So if they are working on a problem solving exercise that they have very little emotion for (mathematics, engineering, finances, physics), they are completely rational with little emotion or creativity. However, if they are working on an emotive problem (eg. their loved dog is dying, they are in love, have a loved child who needs protection, just broke up with meaningful partner, like a song) that they feel strongly about, there is little logic and rationality, and they are using the right side of the brain. So if you are dealing with them when they are dealing with a logical problem, there is little point in trying to point out the emotive factors. Apply gain-orientated logic. If they are in an emotional state, there is little point in pointing out the rational factors (such as life will go on, or the logical processes involved). Apply feeling (sooth if upset, share the joy if happy). Ie. feel for them.

The feminine mind however, has a lot of connections (and therefore communication) between the two sides of the brain. The brain moves easily between emotional/creative thought and logical, rational thought. An example is "women's intuition". A female mind can feel something then apply logic. That's why they are capable of talking about emotions. If you are helping a female mind dealing with a problem, either logical or emotional, point out factors that make sense both logically and emotionally. Neither aspect can be ignored.

As stated before, your physical sex is an indication of your brain's sex, but different people show differing degrees of these connections. Occasionally people have brain's that are completely different from the norm.

Helping depressed people.

This information is inspired by a Beyond Blue pamphlet.
If you know someone who is depressed, here are some do's and don't to help them.

Do:
Spend time talking about their experiences and how they feel about it. Listen to what they are trying to express. They may not be looking for advice, and having someone just listen and understand may be all they need. Maintain eye contact and sit with open body language. Be relaxed. Use open-ended questions. If the conversation becomes awkward and they get angry, stay calm, and back down from any opinion that might be antagonistic or insensitive. Depression is often suppressed anger arising from feeling oppressed by a problem.

Tell you have noticed a change in their behaviour. For example "I notice you aren't as enthusiastic about your passions anymore. What's let the air out of your balloon?"

Let them know you aren't going to judge them for what they tell you.

If you are worried that they are in danger (suicidal, likely to take dangerous risks, stopped doing whats needed to maintain basic survival) suggest seeing a doctor, counsellor or other mental health professional. If they are unlikely to achieve it through their own efforts, assist them and check up on progress.

Talk openly about depression and help them find information relating to depression or whatever is causing the depression.

Encourage them to socialise (in whatever capacity suits them), eat well and exercise (in whatever capacity they will enjoy).

Keep in contact and encourage their nearest and dearest (good friends and healthy family) to do the same thing.

Often just spending the time shows someone cares and can pick up their mood.

Take care of yourself. If you fall apart yourself you won't be able to help anyone!

Don't - It's unhelpful to:
Pressure them to "snap out of it", "get their act together" or "cheer up" (negation).

Avoid them or ostracize them.

Tell them to "get out more" "get a life" or stay busy (denial).

Encourage them to party hard or get very intoxicated on alcohol and drugs to mask how they feel.

Assume the problem will just vanish of it's own volition.

Added points (Dawn's opinions):
Depression is often caused as a reaction to something that makes them feel unexpressed anger. If they are in a situation that is oppressive in nature, feel unloved or trapped or like their personal potential is being undercut, they may not know themselves why they are depressed if they have denied their anger. Help them pinpoint the external factors that are depressing them. In cases (the majority) where the external problem isn't satisfactorally dealt with, medication will have little long term benefit. In rare instantances, it stems from a biological problem, and even then medication is still a band-aid solution.